


Life with a Fox

by albafee



Category: Naruto
Genre: 'your mom' level humor, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Animal Death, Bickering, Birthday Party, Blood and Injury, Bonding, Cats, Cheating, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Drunkenness, Embarrassment, Face Painting, Festivals, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Foxes, Furniture Shopping, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Just Add Kittens, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mischief, Nightmares, Nudity, Phantom Limb Pain, Rain, Scars, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Showers, Television Watching, but not on each other just at a game, immature, this just in: they're actually still twelve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:00:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28742871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/albafee/pseuds/albafee
Summary: Snippets of Naruto and Sasuke's lives with Kurama. It's... interesting to say the least.Boruto time period but they never married the ladies and had kids. Just two extremely powerful ninja husbands and their snarky demon fox.Inspired @noot-draws-stuff 's comics on tumblr!!! go check them out!!!WIP, multi-chapter
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 150
Kudos: 247





	1. Instinct

Sasuke would never get used to the nightly patrols.

He sat up with a sigh, running sleepy fingers through his hair. The spot next to him on the bed was predictably empty.  _ How does he always manage to slip out without waking me? I’m a light sleeper, I wake up from literally everything…  _

He padded softly out into the hallway, Sharingan activating without his conscious intent to help him see in the dark.  _ Not in the hall…  _ He crept toward the bathroom door, but the light was off.  _ Not there either…  _ Quietly, quietly, peering into the kitchen and seeing nothing. Across the hall, peering into the living room now.  _ There he is _ . 

Naruto’s body stood by the sliding glass doors, gazing out, but Sasuke could tell even from across the room and with their back turned that Naruto was not, in fact, the one in the driver’s seat. Kurama held their body very differently. Tense, every muscle coiled tight as a spring, ready to jump into action at the slightest sign of danger. Their shoulders twitched as Kurama recognized Sasuke’s presence behind him.

“Bed,” Kurama growled, voice low.

“You first,” Sasuke snapped back.

“This body does not require sleep.”

“But it does require rest.”

It was the same argument they had every night. Always a stalemate. 

Sasuke sighed, walking further into the room and gazing outside with Kurama. It was a still night, the moonlight washing bright on Kurama’s features. Naruto’s body, but Kurama’s expression, Kurama’s nearly-glowing red eyes.

“What are we looking at?” Sasuke asked.

“The moon.”

He nodded. As much as Kurama’s midnight laps around the house unnerved him, Sasuke related easily to his quiet, predatory nature. Sasuke was a similar kind of beast.

Kurama’s eyes widened, tracking the movements of a racoon in the garden. 

“Don’t,” Sasuke warned.

“It’s going to eat your vegetables, Uchiha-brat.” Kurama licked his lips, the wild gleam in his eyes growing brighter by the second.

“You are  _ not _ going to hunt that racoon.”

“It’ll eat your  _ tomatoes _ , Uchiha-brat.”

Sasuke grimaced. It probably would.

“Fine, but-!” He slammed his hand over the lock on the sliding door before Kurama could grab it. He growled low in his throat, and Sasuke smirked in delight over his ire. “Do.  _ Not _ . Climb back into bed covered in blood again. Got it? You have to shower. With  _ soap _ . And brush your goddamn teeth. And I swear to hell if you let his stupid ass get rabies-” Kurama snapped his jaws at Sasuke, pupils blown wide.

“Enough! This lecture is over! Let me out before I break out!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, unlocking the door and sliding it all the way open.

“Go nuts.”

He sighed as he watched Kurama tear through the garden after the racoon. The poor thing didn’t stand a chance. Too fat to run, just waddling as quick as its stubby legs would go. He didn’t like watching Kurama hunt, so instead he looking up at the moon. Nearly full, coldy beautiful. Sasuke drank in the scent of an approaching fall on the wind. He pointedly ignored the sounds of Kurama enjoying his prey, opting instead to focus on the sunflowers swaying in the corner of the garden. Naruto’s favorites. It had taken three growing seasons for Sasuke to get them to sprout. He wasn’t a natural with plants like Naruto, but he’d insisted on growing them himself, keeping it a surprise for him. He’d spent many hours in Ino’s flower shop during those times learning all he could about not only the sunflowers, but all the plants in the garden. 

“I’m done.”

Sasuke blinked, grimacing at Kurama’s… messy state.

“Got it out of your system?”

“For now,” he purred, licking his fingers.

“Disgusting. Shower, now.” Kurama rolled his eyes.

“So prissy. Typical Uchiha.”

“Don’t make me seal your ass.”

“As if you could, Uchiha-brat.”

“Try me.”

Sasuke smirked as the bathroom door slammed shut. Uchiha 1, Kyuubi 0.


	2. Fox Face

Sasuke woke up to the sound of Kurama fiddling with things in the bathroom, and knew immediately it was going to be a strange sight.

Usually he just did his midnight patrol, had a snack, and came back to bed. Some nights, Kurama went outside and paced the perimeter of the garden, guarding it from raccoons, deer, and anything else that might want to eat the plants. Others still, Sasuke got up to find him doing something absolutely, incomprehensibly weird, and he never knew what exactly it would be.

Sasuke stood in the bathroom doorway. Kurama had what looked to be homemade face paint in containers laid out all over the sink. He was finger-painting it on. Sasuke simply watched, waiting for Kurama to notice him. He paused mid-stroke down his nose, pupils dilating in surprise.

“What in the hell are you doing.” It wasn’t really a question. He could  _ see _ what Kurama was doing. What he should have asked was  _ why _ .

Kurama stiffened.

“I’ll clean it up,” he defended.

“That wasn’t the question.” Kurama narrowed his eyes.

“It's none of your business, Uchiha-brat.”

Sasuke folded his arm over his chest and leaned in the doorway: a silent challenge to make him go away. Kurama growled, but resumed his task anyway, defiant. Sasuke examined the lines and colors, piecing together what he was doing himself.

“I see,” he muttered. Kurama paused again.

“You couldn’t possibly understand what I’m doing.” He even snorted at the ludicrous idea of Sasuke being smart enough to figure it out on his own.  _ Jerk. _

“Of course, of course. You are clearly far too intelligent for me to understand. Why, I wonder, would the fox demon be painting his host’s face to look like a fox?”

Kurama’s head whipped to the side, pinning Sasuke with a glare fit to kill.  _ Two can play at that game…  _ The Sharingan flickered on, flashing bright in the corner of the mirror, and Kurama snarled.  If this body had hackles, they surely would have raised. Instead, Kurama snarled and turned back to the mirror, resuming his painting in a more erratic manner. 

“Tell me why.”

“Because occasionally I like to see my own face.”

Sasuke blinked, then blinked again for good measure. Kurama huffed.

“As I said: you would not understand, Uchiha-brat.” Sasuke tilted his head to the side.

“I understand the concept. Your _execution_ is what confuses me.” Kurama eyed him suspiciously.

“Elaborate,” he demanded. Sasuke rolled his eyes, inspecting his nails with feigned boredom.

“You live with a master of illusion. One who could make you see anything you want. Yet, rather than simply ask, you decide to stand here with some crushed berries and ash from the fire pit to do it yourself. Poorly, might I add.” Kurama growled.

“Do not underestimate my artistic ability! It’s not finished!”

Sasuke nodded, watching Kurama continue to paint his face.

“Put that godforsaken eye away,” he said after a few moments of silence. Sasuke blinked, and it was gone, back to his usual coal black. “I prefer using natural materials. It connects me.” Sasuke nodded, and Kurama turned to him with a menacing look. “Don’t tell Naruto.” Sasuke snorted, pushing off the doorframe with the full intention of going back to bed.

“Don’t give me a reason to.”

Kurama hummed his understanding as Sasuke shut the door behind him.


	3. The Lamp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you know foxes have crazy good hearing? they do!

“Where the _hell_ is that noise coming from?!”

Sasuke sighed, shutting his book. _So much for that. I sit down for ten minutes…_

“Why are you out?”

“Brat’s taking a nap. What the _HELL_?!” He growled frustratedly, trying to figure out what object in the house was emitting a noise only Kurama could hear. Sasuke didn’t hear anything at all. “Why did you humans have to invent electricity? Things were so much better when all you had was fire!”

“I suppose we got tired of living in the woods like animals.” Kurama turned and snarled at him.

“Watch yourself, Uchiha-brat!”

Sasuke raised his hand in surrender, finally getting up to help.

“Alright, quit freaking out. Sit here and tell me when you stop hearing the noise.” Kurama growled, but sat on the arm of the couch anyway, crossing his arms and pouting in a particularly Naruto-like way. Sasuke gave a soft snort, shutting off the living room light. “Still hear it?”  
“Yes!” he snapped.

“Correct your tone before I correct it for you.” Kurama growled in response, and Sasuke rolled his eyes as he went into the kitchen, unplugging the toaster and then the blender. 

“Still hear it.” Sasuke flicked the light on and off. “Still hear it.” Kurama was not a patient being. “This is pointless! There are too many things!”  
“Just shut up and let me work. I don’t have to help you, y’know.” His jaw ticked as he realized what he’d said. A slow grin spread on Kurama’s face, absolutely wicked.

“What’s wrong, Uchiha-brat? Have you accidentally adopted my host’s verbal tic?”  
“Absolutely not. You’re delusional. Hearing things.”

Kurama cackled, a high-pitched _kek-kek-kek-kek-kek_ noise that made Sasuke want to cover his ears. _Thank god Naruto can’t laugh like that, he’d torture me with it…_ Sasuke continued going around the house flicking light switches and pulling plugs until finally Kurama called out, “Bless the wind, it’s _gone_!” Sasuke nodded, picking up the lamp in the hallway and carrying it out. He held it up for Kurama to see.

“Wake up Naruto.” A swift series of blinks, red-blue, red-blue, before they settled on blue. Naruto yawned, rubbing his eyes.

“Wassup?” he asked groggily.

“We have to get a new lamp.”

“Now?”

“If we don’t get it now, you’ll just end up tripping in the hallway tonight.”

“I don’t wanna go out,” he whined. “I just woke up, y’know.”

“Hn.”

Sasuke leaned in and pecked him on the lips. 

“Get up.” Naruto smiled, circling his arms around his neck and kissing back a bit deeper.

“Okay, okay. Lemme just get a jacket.”

And that’s how Naruto and Sasuke ended up going to buy a lamp at six in the evening instead of any number of other things they _should_ have been doing.

The clerk clearly recognized them, and she was clearly nervous, sweating bullets under Sasuke’s unintentionally intimidating stare and Naruto’s hyperactivity. When the door chimed and another customer walked in, she almost crumpled in relief on the spot.

“Excuse me, gentlemen.”

She zipped off, leaving them alone in the lighting section of the furniture store. Sasuke reached out and grabbed Naruto’s hand, tugging him toward a lamp that had caught his eye. He was usually much more concerned about the home decor- the way Sasuke saw it was if they were going to own so many things, they may as well be nice and somewhat synergistic with one another- but he wanted to get out of here fast and if he could convince Naruto this admittedly mediocre lamp was a good choice they could be done and home within twenty minutes.

He flinched and whirled at the sound of shattering glass. Red eyes squinted so much they appeared as mere slits.

“Oops. Am I ruining your date?”

“You’re not supposed to be out in public!” he hissed. “And it’s not a date!” Kurama smirked, and their head jerked as Naruto shoved him back into the mindscape. He scowled down at the mess.

“Sorry.” Sasuke sighed.

“It’s not your fault, dobe. What’s an outing without collateral damage?” Sasuke examined a piece. “It was ugly anyway.”

Naruto snorted his agreement, bending to help pick up the larger pieces. Sasuke spotted a store employee hurtling toward them with a broom and dust pan.

“He’s being particularly douchey lately. Did you piss him off?” Sasuke held back a sharp laugh. _We piss each other off on a nightly basis…_

“Probably just cranky from being up in the middle of the day.” Naruto nodded.

“The sound from the lamp earlier didn’t help.” Sasuke sighed again.

“No, it certainly did not.”

They apologized to the employee who helped clean up their mess and were fully prepared to pay for the damage, but he recognized Naruto and all was immediately forgiven. That tended to happen when one was not only the Hokage, but also the great Hero of Konoha and the savior of the world. How Naruto didn’t get a Messiah complex was beyond Sasuke, but he was grateful for it. He couldn't imagine how annoying _that_ would be.

Naruto evidently wasn’t feeling too picky today either. They took the lamp Sasuke had first spotted, paid, and went home as quickly as possible. For Naruto it was surely to avoid Kurama misbehaving further, but Sasuke just genuinely didn't want to be out anymore. He always felt like there were too many pairs of eyes on them.

He knelt in the hallway, placing the lamp on the table. 

“Alright, now’s the real test,” Sasuke said. “Wake up Kurama for me.”

“Ugh, he’s gonna be so bitchy.” His eyes flashed a few times, a quick sequence of blue-red, blue-red, before it settled definitively on red. Kurama glowered at Sasuke.

“Tiny mortals should let sleeping beasts lie.”

“Yeah, yeah. Tell me if this hurts your ears.” He plugged it in, and for a moment Kurama just stared intently.

“It’s fine. Good night.” 

With that, Naruto popped back into the driver’s seat, grinning.

“What are you so happy about, usuratonkachi?” His grin widened.

“Kurama really liked that lamp.”

“Yeah?”  
“Yeah. He’s very opinionated on the home decor.” Sasuke raised a brow.

“Should we let him help pick from now on?”  
“Hell no! He’s got shit taste.”

“Are you saying we picked a shit lamp?”

Naruto’s eyes widened as he realized the verbal trap he’d gotten himself into.

“No! He just happens to like something _we_ picked for once. We have great taste!” Sasuke snorted.

“You mean _I_ have great taste. I picked it.”

“We picked it together!”

And that’s how Naruto and Sasuke spent the next hour arguing over a lamp they both liked and already bought.


	4. Nightmares

Despite constantly antagonizing each other, Sasuke and Kurama didn’t truly hate each other anymore, if they ever had to begin with. It was more like the surface-level hate between friends who don’t really get along but vibe on a similar wavelength nonetheless. When push came to shove, Kurama would try to protect Sasuke as long as Naruto wasn’t in danger, even if it was only under the guise of wanting to kill Sasuke himself. Sasuke would protect both Naruto and Kurama with his life, and in the meantime he did what he could to make life comfortable for both of them. The most telling sign of their mutual respect for one another was that sometimes when Sasuke woke up screaming in the night, it was not Naruto who tended him.

He jolted upright with a yowl, his hand flying to the nub where an arm once was. Pain shot searing hot all the way into his shoulder where a curse mark had once burned, too. A warm hand, red with chakra, glowed in his blurred peripheral vision. He yelled as the burn became a blaze. Kurama shuffled behind him in bed. One arm wrapped tight around Sasuke’s middle, holding him still against his chest while the chakra-coated hand squeezed a massage into his bicep from the bottom up, following the paths of his nerves. He gritted his teeth, refusing to cry out again even as tears pricked the corners of his eyes and his whole body shook with a cold sweat. 

“Breathe.”

Kurama’s voice rumbled deep in both their bodies. It forced Sasuke to suck in a breath. In, out. In, out. Kurama hummed his approval, fingers pressing hard on their way up into Sasuke’s shoulder. He squirmed, the burning sensation momentarily flaring bright again, but he didn’t complain.

For a few moments, Kurama worked in silence. Uncharacteristically, it was Sasuke who broke it.

“Why you?” he finally managed.

“Naruto’s too tired to deal with you right now.”

Sasuke nodded. He knew that really meant  _ Naruto needs to sleep, and I am more than capable of handling this myself. _ Thankfully the pain was finally starting to ebb, reduced to a faint tingle. Sasuke flexed a hand that wasn’t there anymore.

“Nightmares make it worse,” Kurama noted. Sasuke nodded hesitantly. “The nightmares are about Naruto.” 

“How do you know that?” he hissed. 

“You screamed his name.”

Sasuke bit his lower lip, but didn’t respond.

“You’re afraid of hurting him again.” He nodded. “Pathetic,” Kurama sniffed. “We would simply tear you limb from limb if you tried.” Sasuke snorted.

“Was that an attempt at humor, Kurama?”   
“No, it was a promise. Feeling better?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Don’t insult me with your pitiful thank-you’s. Go back to sleep.” Sasuke smirked.

“Aren’t you gonna let go?” Kurama’s chest vibrated with a growl.

“Do not question my ways, mortal.”

“Don’t act so high and mighty. You’re in Naruto’s body, you’re technically mortal now, too.”

“Sleep!” he snapped, covering Sasuke’s mouth. “And  _ do not  _ bite my hand. I promise I bite harder.” 

Sasuke snickered at the innuendos he could make, but thought better than to torture Kurama at this very moment. He simply filed it away for future use and settled on the good arm. Kurama lifted his hand from Sasuke’s mouth and extracted himself from the space between Sasuke and the headboard, lying on his side, too. He wrapped an arm around Sasuke from behind, nuzzling animal-like against Sasuke’s hair as he tucked his head beneath his chin. Sasuke felt himself starting to relax. Kurama ran warm, much warmer than Naruto did, and it was making him drowsy.  _ I probably shouldn’t be so used to letting my guard down with a demon, but then again, he lets his guard down with me, too. What weird lives we live…  _

That was all he managed to think before he dropped off.


	5. Politics

Watching Naruto and Kurama have a silent conversation was always weird, and quite honestly, it kind of pissed Sasuke off.

They were sitting at the Hokage’s desk, signing paperwork when the red-blue mambo started. Naruto had been staring for a while without writing, clearly confused about the document he was reading. Rather than ask for Sasuke’s help, he consulted the fucking fox.  _ As if the Kyuubi knows anything about politics _ … Their eyes flashed between colors so fast, they would have appeared violet if Sasuke didn’t have ocular powers to track them with.  _ They never get anything solved when they argue. Kurama’s solution is always to eat people and Naruto’s frankly too stupid for this job. I’m always the one who has to break it up and solve the problem anyway, so why doesn’t Naruto just ask me? Why don’t they both at least argue in earshot?  _ Sasuke blinked.  _ Wait. I have magic ninja eyes. I could just go in and join them. _

Now  _ that _ was an idea. Sasuke knew it was likely a terrible one, but the potential entertainment value was too great to pass up. He was bored as hell, just waiting around in Naruto’s office for an assignment or something interesting to happen. He activated the Sharingan, careful not to let his chakra flare too much. Just enough to make them glance up, captured in Sasuke’s gaze with one eye red, one eye blue.

Naruto’s mindscape was almost exactly how he remembered it, except Kurama’s cage was no longer locked, free to come and go as he pleased. Naruto gasped as Sasuke appeared beside him, feet splashing in the water, and Kurama jumped.

“I hate being excluded.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Sasuke, get out!” Naruto cried.

“NO UCHIHA’S ALLOWED! CAN’T YOU READ?!” Kurama bellowed over him, pointing to the signs taped to the bars of his cage. Sure enough, there were three. One read, “No Uchiha’s Allowed” with an Uchiha fan and defaced portraits of Sasuke, Madara, and Obito drawn in crayon. Another read, “Private Property: Kyuubi Zone” with a little drawing of Kurama in the corner. The third read, “NOTICE: All Trespassers Will Be Ejected” with a drawing of Kurama throwing Sasuke. Sasuke’s eyes widened at that last one, and Kurama’s lips spread in a terrible smile.

“Wait, don’t-!”

Too late.

Kurama’s chakra surged, launching Sasuke straight out of the mindscape. He jolted so hard he tumbled straight off the couch and onto the floor, head splitting with the beginnings of a migraine. He hissed, pressing the heels of his palms to his eye sockets to ease the pressure. Naruto flat-out banged his head against his desk, groaning.

“Why on  _ earth _ would you do that?” 

“I thought it’d be funny.”

“Funny? What kinda sick sense of humor do you have?”

“A stunted one,” he huffed, clutching the couch and coffee table to get back up. He felt an ANBU agent appear in the window.

“Hokage-sama, are you okay?”

“If he wasn’t he’d be dead by now,” Sasuke growled. “You’re lucky this isn’t a real emergency. You’re slow as shit.”

“Sasuke!” Naruto admonished. He grumbled, settling back on the couch again. “Sorry. I’m fine, thank you. You may return to your post.” 

Sasuke heard the ANBU agent disappear, and though his vision was still too blurry to see, he could feel Naruto’s disapproving gaze burn hot on his skin.

“You’re a jerk.” Sasuke snorted, smile betraying him.

“I know.”


	6. TV

Sasuke was brandishing a kunai before he even knew what was happening, holding it to the throat of his would-be assailant. Red eyes blinked at him, unimpressed, and Sasuke understood that he was home, in bed, and Kurama was trying to wake him up, not slit his throat. He lowered the kunai.

“Has it occurred to you that sleeping with a sharp object beneath your head is not the wisest decision?”

“What do you want?”

“How does the TV work?”

Sasuke blinked. Kurama didn’t often take interest in human inventions. He’d only just gotten the hang of using the stove, let alone something like the TV.

“What for?”

“Just show me how to use it!” 

He rolled his eyes, stowing the kunai back in its original space between the headboard and the mattress, just under his pillow. He followed Kurama to the living room, scanning the room for the remote. He found it under the couch, which was unfortunately very typical of Naruto. 

“Remote control.”

“What’s that do?”

“Controls it remotely,” he answered, deadpan. Kurama snapped his jaws. “Be nice.” Sasuke handed it to Kurama, pointing to the buttons. “Power, mute, volume up and down, channel up and down.” Kurama nodded, testing what Sasuke told him was true by pressing the power button. He jumped when the TV turned on, blaring loud and blue. Sasuke reached over and clicked the volume down a few notches, until the tension in Kurama’s shoulders started to relax.

“And what do humans watch on this?” Sasuke shrugged.

“Whatever’s on. Naruto likes comedies. I sometimes watch documentaries.” Kurama tilted his head to the side, retracting his claws so he could press the buttons better. The channels flipped. Sasuke yawned. “Am I free to go, mighty beast?” Kurama sniffed.

“Go, sleep. I want to learn more about this… _thing_ on my own.” Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“Alright. Don’t break it.”

“I won’t break it, Uchiha-brat.”

Sasuke went back to bed, yawning again. _I suppose even demon foxes are just foxes at the end of the day. Curious creatures…_ He switched his own pillow with Naruto’s, settling on his stomach and slipping his finger around the ring of his kunai. The cold metal and Naruto’s warm scent calmed him, helping him ease back toward the deep sleep he’d been awoken from… 

“ _KEK-KEK-KEK-KEK-KEK!_ ”

Sasuke startled awake, glancing out the window. The sun was just barely rising behind the trees. He sighed, getting out of bed and trudging back out to the living room. Kurama was sitting on the couch, eating cheese and crackers. His eyes were wide watching the screen. Something happened, and Kurama gave another loud laugh.

“Could you keep it down?”

“It’s morning.”

Sasuke sighed, gazing at the ceiling. _Give me the strength not to strangle him…_

“Then I suppose it’s time for Naruto to be up, too.” Kurama stiffened, glancing between Sasuke and the screen. 

“It’s too early for him,” he sniffed. “Naruto is a late riser.” 

“I am also a late riser. So either shut the hell up or wake Naruto so he can suffer with me.” Kurama waved him off, attention returning to the screen.

“Yes, yes, good night, mortal,” he said distractedly.

“What are you even watching?”

Kurama didn’t answer, so Sasuke stepped in far enough that he could look. To his own surprise, he recognized it. A documentary about the Second Shinobi World War, complete with reenactments. Kurama laughed as the actors fell in pools of fake blood.

“You’re aware that those are actors, right? They’re not filming people dying on national telelvision.” Kurama frowned.

“Go away! You’re ruining it!”

Sasuke dodged a pillow thrown his way, rolling his eyes again.

“Enjoy your gruesome documentary.”

“Enjoy your sub-par unconscious experience.”


	7. Naruto's Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing old fashioned english is so hard, 0/10 do not recommend
> 
> tw for alcohol consumption, drunkenness

People swarmed in every room of their house. Even the bathroom, where Ino was helping Shikamaru wash cola out of his shirt and Lee apologized profusely while doing push-ups for spilling it on him. Sasuke wove between bodies like a shadow, appearing relaxed on the surface but buzzing with anxiety just beneath his skin. He did not like crowds, he did not like noise, and he did _not_ like having people over. But it was Naruto’s birthday, and Sasuke couldn’t say no to him when it came to this. He’d spent so many birthdays alone, so many birthdays scorned for the destruction of the village and grieving the death of his parents. It was only fair to let him have this now as a happy occasion. 

The cake was cut, gifts given, drinks guzzled down. Their guests left full and drunk and happy. Naruto, too, was full and drunk and happy. He kissed Sasuke breathless between every step toward the bedroom, until finally Sasuke wrestled him in the bed and wrangled him into pajamas.

“Love you, ‘Suke,” he slurred, petting Sasuke’s face. He chuckled a little, ruffling Naruto’s hair in return.

“Love you, too. Have a good birthday?”

“Best birthday,” he muttered into Sasuke’s stomach, wrapping his arms around him. He tugged on his waist, trying to get him to lay in bed with him.

“I have to clean up,” he said, pressing a kiss to Naruto’s forehead. “I’ll be back soon.”

“M’kay. Love you.”

“Love you too, stupid.”

Naruto released Sasuke with a grin, nuzzling against his pillow. He was snoring by the time Sasuke’s hand touched the doorknob. 

He started in the living room and worked his way out, gathering cups and plates in a garbage bag. He was halfway done when he heard rustling in the next room.

“Naruto?” he called. He straightened when he didn’t receive an answer, pulling a kunai hidden in his sleeve. “Kurama?” He heard a weird yip, and a thump in the bedroom. 

One body flicker, and he was in the bedroom, ready to fight an intruder. Instead… it was just Kurama, sitting on the floor with a sheet tangled around him and his claws tearing through it.

“Hey!” Sasuke barked. “The hell are you doing?!” Kurma snapped his head toward him.

“UCHIHA!” he yowled far, _far_ too loudly. “FIGHT ME!”

Sasuke blinked impassively. Kurama’s face was just as red as Naruto’s was when Sasuke left him a few minutes ago. His eyes were just a bit unfocused. No matter how loud he spoke, it couldn’t cover the clumsy way the words rolled off his tongue.

“You’re drunk,” he realized. Kurama snorted.

“As if the drink of mortal flesh could addle the mind of a great beast!” 

“No, I’m pretty sure you’re drunk.” Kurama snarled.

“Close thine mouth else I shall close it for thee.” Sasuke’s brows launched straight into his hairline. _Why is speaking like he’s three centuries old?_

“Alright, you’re drunk. Water and bed for you,” Sasuke decided, pulling the shredded remains of the sheet off him and hauling him over his shoulder.

“Halt! Foul Uchiha cur!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Kurama flailed, nearly slipping out of Sasuke’s grasp.

“Hold still, idiot!”

“Return me to my chamber postehaste!”

“You need to drink water.” 

“I do not desire it.” Sasuke dumped him on a kitchen chair, which would at least be more difficult for him to ruin. _Worrying about him ruining the furniture. Demon fox, glorified pet, same difference…_ “Thy constitution is unimpaired.”

“Yeah, I don’t drink, remember?”

“Thou thinkst thineself superior to those who partake in the drink.”

“No, don’t do that. You know that’s not true.”

“Refresh my memory.”

Sasuke frowned severely, passing Kurama a glass of water.

“I’m a mean drunk.”

“Surely thou dost not consider my present behavior pleasant?”

“No, but you’re just rude. I'm _mean_.” He pushed the water even closer. “Drink.”

Kurama leaned over the table and dipped his face into the glass, lapping at the water. Sasuke felt his eye twitch. _Okay. Drunk Kurama is quite literally just a pet. Awesome._

“Why are you even out? You never come out when he’s drunk.”

“Thou wouldst not understand the musings of a being many centuries older than thineself,” he answered, sitting up and shaking his head. He pawed at his ear.

“Enlighten me, then” Kurama frowned, pausing mid-scratch.

“No”

“No? Why not?” 

Kurama snapped his jaws at him in irritation. Sasuke snickered at his expense, but dropped the subject. He clearly wasn’t in the mood to cooperate. And, frankly, Sasuke was too tired to translate every sentence into modern speech. 

“Want a bowl instead?” he asked, gesturing to the water. Kurama nodded. Sasuke poured the water into a bowl and gave it back. Kurama licked his chops, leaning down and drinking greedily. Sasuke shook his head, returning to his previous task of tidying their house. Kurama took his time lapping up the water. Sasuke listened to him get up and pad into the bathroom, the door shutting behind him. Sasuke was washing dishes when he emerged again, wandering into the living room. Sasuke kept an ear out for sounds of destruction, but it was surprisingly quiet. The TV didn’t even turn on.

Sasuke turned the faucet off and left the dishes in a rack to dry, peeking into the living room. Kurama was under the coffee table, curled in a little ball, evidently fast asleep. Sasuke shook his head, shutting off the lights and settling on the couch, ready to escort a confused Naruto back to bed in the morning.

Instead he ended up yelling at Kurama in the middle of the night as he once again raided the cheese drawer.


	8. Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dedicate this extra gay chapter to g.o.d, thanks for fueling my fire bud 👍
> 
> tw for blood and injury, nudity (implied, not explicitly described at all)

Being the Hokage, Naruto didn’t go on missions himself anymore. Diplomatic meetings, sure, inaugurations and coronations and celebrations, absolutely. If ever there was another war brewing, he’d be out on the frontlines directing the charge. But as it was now, being in peacetime, Naruto didn’t see the battlefield at all. He couldn’t. It would ruin the image of peace, even though behind the scenes, shinobi duties were nearly as abundant as ever. Naruto needed, more than anyone, a person he could trust enough to take on the dirty work for him.

Hence, Sasuke.

The rain pelted his back as he flashed through the trees.  _ Just a bit further,  _ he thought, encouraging himself. He nearly slipped.  _ Just a bit further…  _ He could see their house in the distance, nestled in the woods, slightly removed from the rest of the village. He could sense Naruto’s presence already, his heart feeling just a little lighter. His bones rattled as he leapt down from the treeline on the edge of their property, cursing and clutching his stomach.  _ Just… a bit… further…  _ He stood back up, temporarily dispelling the barrier jutsu to enter. It came back up with a surge of chakra the moment he set foot on the grass on the other side.  _ Please don’t wake him up…  _

His vision was blurry as he stumbled up the porch steps to their front door, leaning heavily on the doorjamb as he fished his keys out of his pocket. His hand trembled, almost dropping them twice before he finally managed to unlock it. The door swung open harder than he anticipated, and he fell straight into a pair of arms.

“I missed you.”  _ Shit…  _ He buried his face in Naruto’s neck, fingers clutching hard at the back of his shirt.

“Missed you, too.” Naruto inhaled sharply.

“You’re bleeding.” Sasuke gritted his teeth in a smile.

“Heh, yeah.” He straightened, kicking off his sandals and dropping his cloak with a wet  _ plop _ . “It’s not serious. Just inconvenient.”

“The blood loss has him stupid.” Kurama’s voice.

“Shut up,” Naruto and Sasuke chorused. “You should be at the hospital,” Naruto continued, hooking his arm around Sasuke’s waist and helping him hobble to the bathroom.  _ Better to bleed there. Tile doesn’t stain like wood…  _

“Don’t need ‘em.”

“Most of the personnel there were trained by Tsunade, Shizune, and Sakura personally, y’know. They’re good at what they do.”

“Good for them.”

“Don’t get snarky with me or I’m not gonna help, y’know.” 

Sasuke snorted, covering a pained noise that otherwise would have escaped him as Naruto lowered him into the tub.

“You’re bluffing.” Naruto sighed.

“Yeah, you’re right. Lay back.”

It was so easy to obey. Sasuke usually struggled, but right now, even a verbal fight felt like way too much. He reclined back by degrees until his head was resting against one end of the tub. He felt Naruto picking apart the knot holding his vest together, difficult to undo with the fabric soaked like this. Sasuke’s eyes slipped shut.

“Stay awake,” Naruto said, and it almost sounded like an order. Sasuke snorted again.

“Yes, Hokage-sama.”

“Don’t call me that, bastard. You’re my husband, y’know.”

“Well aware. If I recall correctly, I’m the one who proposed.”

“With a knife instead of a ring.”

“You liked it.”

“I  _ loved  _ it.”

Sasuke smiled a little. He remembered it well. At the Valley of the End, where all the most significant moments of their lives took place. They were sparring when Naruto pinned Sasuke down, and he’d decided that was the best time to yield and produce the dagger from under his vest. It was ornate, and the blade was engraved with the words, “My one and only”. Sappy, he knew, but seeing the way Naruto’s lips spread in a smile and the way his eyes filled with happy tears was everything he’d hoped for. Naruto’s yes had come in the form of a bruising kiss Sasuke could still feel when he thought of it. It made him smile.

Naruto finally managed to get the vest off, tossing it into the corner. Long-sleeved shirt next. Sasuke hissed as he rolled it up, and Naruto took another sharp inhale.

“You said it wasn’t serious, you asshole!”

“It’s not,” he insisted, cracking one eye open. Not that it made much difference, Naruto was just a colorful blur at his side. “Just inconvenient.”   
“Kurama’s right, the blood loss  _ is _ turning you stupid.” Naruto was gentle, though, as he got the shirt up over Sasuke’s head. “I dunno if I can heal this, Sasuke.”

“S’fine. I don’t mind scars.”

“You should have gone to the hospital.”

“Hn.”

Naruto managed to get the rest of his clothes off and turn on the showerhead. Sasuke stayed still, letting him wash his wounds.

“Where the hell did you end up? You’re covered in mud.”   
“Swamp.” He could feel Naruto raising a brow, probably wanting to ask for an explanation, but Sasuke was exhausted. The longer he laid under the stream of warm water and Naruto’s gentle hands, the more tired he became. He wasn’t sure he  _ could _ open his eyes right now, not even if he wanted to.

“Stay awake,” Naruto directed again, softer this time.

“M’wake,” he mumbled. 

“Kurama says he can heal this. I’m letting him take over, okay?”   
“M’kay.”

He felt the shift in their chakra signature, heard Kurama’s snort.

“Disgusting,” he muttered, placing his hands on Sasuke’s bare stomach. They blazed, and the chakra  _ burned _ . It was nothing like the soothing heal of a medic-nin. This was aggressive. Sasuke could feel his cells multiplying, forced to move at a rapid pace. He didn’t struggle, though, didn’t move. He knew Naruto was watching in the background, making sure Kurama didn’t hurt him. “Humans are so gross and...  _ fleshy _ ,” he continued.

“And you’re just a weird ball of plasma that happens to be shaped like a fox.”

“If I never saw another naked human again it’d be too soon.”

“Can it. I gotta look at your ugly mug every night.” 

“But I wear Naruto’s face.”   
“He’s ugly, too.”

“Alright, that’s enough of that,” Naruto snapped, taking back control of the body. Sasuke snickered as Naruto, very lightly, batted at his head. A reprimand, but a soft one, one that knew he wasn’t serious to begin with. He glanced down at his wounds. They were mostly healed.  _ Definitely gonna scab and scar…  _ “You guys are so  _ mean _ to each other.”

Sasuke shrugged, wincing as Naruto helped him sit up and turned off the water. Naruto dried him carefully, trying not to reopen his injuries. 

“You’re not ugly, y’know,” Sasuke mumbled. Naruto laughed.

“As if ugly’s the worst thing you could call me.” He pressed a kiss to Sasuke’s temple. “I appreciate that, though. You’re not too bad yourself.” Sasuke smiled a little, resting his head on Naruto’s shoulder. He listened to Naruto fold up the towel and place it on the floor, tapping Sasuke’s arm. He managed to stand with his help, step over the edge of the tub, and sit back down on the towel. “I gotta dress these, y’know. Just gimme a sec, don’t move.”

Sasuke nodded, not planning to move in the slightest. He was starting to feel heavy. His head spun in slow, lazy circles. He let Naruto dress his wounds without complaint, only grunting as Naruto hauled him back up to his feet. He wobbled dangerously, clutching onto Naruto’s shirt for balance.

“I gotcha,” Naruto assured, arm wrapping tighter around his waist. They shuffled down the hall and into the bedroom. Sasuke flopped onto the mattress, making the springs creak, and settled flat on his back. He hated sleeping that way, but his sides and stomach weren’t an option now. He felt Naruto crawl over him onto his own side, resting his head on Sasuke’s shoulder and slinging his arm across his middle, fingers drawing nonsense swirls against his hipbone. Thank you for coming home.” Sasuke smiled, lacing his fingers with Naruto’s. 

“I’ll always come home to you.”   
“I love you,” Naruto breathed, quickly falling asleep.

“I love you, too.”   
“And if you make him worry like that again, I’ll kill you,” Kurama chimed in, voice so deep it made Sasuke’s ears ring.

“Noted.” Kurama made a rumbly noise, settling more comfortably against him. They both knew the threat was empty. This was the shinobi life; Naruto would always worry.

“I’ll keep watch tonight. Rest, Uchiha-brat.”   
“Hn…”


	9. The Fuck Word

Sasuke slammed his hand on the table.

“You’re cheating!”

“Am not!” Naruto cried. Sasuke forced himself to take a very controlled breath, his own fingers threatening to rip out his hair.

“I have. The Sharingan. I can  _ see you _ consulting with Kurama. For every. Single.  _ Move _ !” Naruto rolled his eyes and waved a dismissive hand.

“Psh, you think that’s cheating? Kurama always helps me!”   
“He abso-fucking-lutely does  _ not _ .”

“Eh, okay, so it’s when he feels like it. No big deal, though.” Naruto had the gall to shrug carelessly, looking a little bit bored, even. It stoked Sasuke’s annoyance into rage.

“It’s  _ cheating _ ,” he ground out.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you don’t have a demon fox living rent-free in your head to help you out. It’s still my brain, right?”

Sasuke balked. He wasn’t entirely sure how that worked. Was Kurama technically using Naruto’s brain, or did he have his own? Did Kurama technically have  _ any _ of his own organs?

“No, no, that doesn’t make sense,” he argued, partially at Naruto and partially at himself. “If Kurama shared your brain, he’d be just as stupid as you. He’s just another consciousness feeding into your chakra network.”

“Uh…” Naruto clearly hadn’t expected Sasuke to dig this far into that comment, and now he was at a loss. His eyes flickered a few times, the familiar red-blue mambo, and soon Naruto’s face was forming a frown. “Well… it’s more complicated than that.”

“Then explain it to me.” His eyes shifted red.

“It’s none of your business how our anatomy works,” Kurama growled.

“Then at least tell me this: is it cheating to use you to win or not?” Kurama’s lips peeled back in a snarl.

“Fuck off, Uchiha-brat.”

Sasuke blinked, dumbstruck, and Naruto cackled as he returned to the control booth.

“Did you teach him the  _ fuck word _ ?” Sasuke asked, voice low. Naruto laughed, but a bead of sweat was forming on his temple, betraying the fact that even after all these years, he still wasn’t entirely sure whether Sasuke was upset or amused.

“H-how do you know he didn’t learn it from you?!” he accused, pointing a finger. Sasuke bit the inside of his lip to keep from smiling.

“You’re the one who  _ shares a brain _ with him, remember? If he learned it from anyone, it’s you.”

Sasuke didn’t know how it was possible, but Naruto blanched and flushed at the same time.

“W-well, u-uh…” He brightened suddenly. “How can you be so sure he learned it from  _ me _ ? He had other hosts, y’know!” Sasuke smirked.

“So you’re saying it’s your mom who taught him?”

“HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE MY MOM OF THAT! SHE WAS A PURE AND WHOLESOME WOMAN!” Naruto screamed, launching himself out of his seat and accidentally flipping the board over. Sasuke snorted, inspecting his fingernails.

“That’s not what I heard.”

Naruto grabbed him by the front of his shirt, lifting Sasuke in the air until his feet dangled, eyes flickering dangerously.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU HEAR?!” For a moment Sasuke just stared, unperturbed by his darkened whisker marks and slitted pupils.

“That your mom was a hot-headed dumbass just like you.”   


Naruto’s eyes narrowed.

“Who?” he growled.

“Who what?”

“Who told you that?” he demanded, shaking Sasuke. He held back laughter again.

“My father.”

Naruto set him back down, grumbling, and the claws Kurama loaned him retracted.

“I’ll learn the Edo Tensei just to kick his ass.” Finally, Sasuke released the laughter he’d been containing. Naruto pouted. “You’re such a  _ dick _ .”

“You love it.”

“You got Kurama all excited, y’know,” he whined, making his way toward the patio door.

“Hey, come clean this up!” Sasuke called.

“Sorry,  _ somebody’s _ gotta go work off their bloodlust thanks to you.” He glanced sharply back over his shoulder at Sasuke. “Asshole,” he added.

To say Sasuke howled with laughter was an understatement.


	10. Fall Festival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can no longer guarantee daily updates but trust me, i'm still writing and thinking about it non-stop XD

Naruto was a big fan of festivals.

He claimed it was to engage with the community and build morale, but deep down, Sasuke knew it mostly came down to the fact that Naruto just wanted to have fun once in a while. He had one for every season, several memorial festivals throughout the year, and occasional joint celebrations with allied nations. This was the Fall Festival. The leaves had finally changed color, acorns scattered across the ground, and the air was crisp. Children ran and laughed, many of them clamoring for Naruto’s attention. He paid them all equal mind, showing them how to spin tops and ruffling their hair. He looked cute in an orange and yellow kimono, Hokage hat on his back and a porcelain mask strapped to his head sideways so the kids could see his face. Sasuke stood aside, just on the edge of all the commotion, keeping watch for anything suspicious. His sword was strapped to his side and his kimono sleeves flapped in the breeze. He liked the samurai-like imagery, couldn’t help but think a young adult story about a samurai retainer bound at the hip to his half-demon master would be a best-seller. 

Naruto nudged his arm, and Sasuke knew what he was asking for. He smirked, grabbing Naruto’s hand and transporting them away with the amenotajikaro technique. Next thing they knew, they were standing on a rooftop far outside the festival’s boundaries, watching the distance orange spot in a sea of blue-washed buildings. Naruto breathed a sigh of relief as they sat together, slumping against Sasuke’s side.

“I’m too old for this shit,” he whined. 

“You’re only thirty-two years old, dobe.”

“That’s like,  _ sixty _ in shinobi years.” Sasuke chuckled, combing his fingers through Naruto’s hair and earning a contented hum. He may like parties, but even he needed to take breaks in the middle of them sometimes.

“Usuratonkachi. It’s bad form to complain about a festival you created.”

“Not if it’s to my husband.” Sasuke smiled.

“Hn. I suppose not.”

Naruto shifted to rest his head in Sasuke’s lap instead, sighing again. Sasuke just kept playing with his hair, thinking about nothing in particular as he gazed up at the stars. He felt the moment Naruto’s chakra signature gave way to Kurama’s, but kept petting his hair nonetheless, hoping they'd both sleep for a while longer so Sasuke could continue enjoying his break. Kurama yawned extra wide, giving a sleepy purr. Sasuke raised a brow. _So Kurama also like having his hair touched…?_ He went rigid as he woke up all the way and realized what had just happened.

“Uchiha-brat!” he cried, outraged, as he sat back up.

“What?”

“Why are you petting me?! I’m not a dog!”

“Naruto happens to enjoy it.”

“I’m not Naruto!”   
“No shit,” he deadpanned. “But as of thirty seconds ago, Naruto was the one controlling the body. I was catering to  _ him _ , not you.”

Kurama growled, and Sasuke rolled his eyes. He never dealt well with embarrassment; if he could stomp a small town every time he felt a little insecure, he most certainly would. Instead he just pulled the porcelain mask over his face- a fox, of course- and crouched at the edge of the rooftop.

“Let’s go, Uchiha-brat.”

“Shouldn’t we wake Naruto up?”   
“I’ll fake it.” Sasuke snorted.

“Of course, what could possibly go wrong with-?”   
“Just shut up and take me.”

Kurama hooked his arm unwillingly with Sasuke’s and he rolled his eyes as he performed another amenotajikaro back to the festival. They emerged from an alleyway as if they’d been there the entire time. Nobody seemed to even notice their brief absence. Except for the ANBU, of course, they were always watching. Sasuke stared one down as they approached, and they crawled back into their hiding spot on the rooftop.

“These masked fools are terrible at hiding,” Kurama muttered. Sasuke snorted.

“Naruto was the one who trained them. Are we really surprised?”

He snickered low under his breath, trying not to draw attention. Sasuke pulled his own mask over his face now, too, to cover a smile and the way he bit his lip to keep from laughing. They wove between festival-goers. Kurama stopped and shook some hands, ruffled some more children’s hair, pretending he was Naruto. With his face covered, he was pretty good at it. As long as his claws stayed retracted and his voice stayed soft, he could get away with it. He had the exact way Naruto carried their body memorized. Sasuke wouldn’t admit it, but it was impressive.

They stopped to watch some dancers. Naruto woke up with a particularly loud roar from the crowd, swaying and disoriented. Sasuke steadied him with an arm around his waist.    
“We’re still at the festival, everything’s fine. Kurama covered you.” He breathed a sigh of relief, leaning on Sasuke.

“Wonder why he did that.” Sasuke shrugged, holding Naruto a little tighter, pressing him a little closer to his side.

“I think you might be growing on him.” Naruto snorted.

“Only took three decades.”

“That’s like, four days in Kyuubi years.” Naruto chuckled a little, resting his head on Sasuke’s shoulder. 

The pair of them watched the dancers behind their masks, but their thoughts and attention were on nothing but each other.


	11. Cats

_ I must be getting soft in my old age,  _ he thought almost bitterly, shifting the box under his arm. It was an awkward size to hold with one hand, and the weight wasn’t helping. He was once again soaked to the bone, having gotten caught in a sudden November rain. He kicked at his own front door.

“Let me in, dobe! I’ve got my hand full!”

He heard shuffling inside, and then the door opened. Naruto yawned.

“Sorry, I was taking a nap.”

“What else is new.”   
“We got a package?” he asked, stepping aside to let Sasuke in. 

“Ah, well… sorta.”

Naruto raised a brow as he unclipped Sasuke’s cloak for him and Sasuke kicked off his shoes. The box jiggled, and a little noise came out of it. Naruto’s eyes widened.

“What’s in the box?” He took it before Sasuke could say anything.

“Hey, be careful!” He carefully lifted one flap. Naruto’s eyes became saucer-wide.

“Kittens!” he breathed. The mother cat blinked up at them, looking tired. Five little babies nursed at her teets, a menagerie of orange, black, grey, and white. “Please tell me we’re keeping them, Sasuke. They’re so cute!”

“Yes.”

Naruto whooped behind him as he stalked off into the bathroom, intent on warming himself with a shower. When he emerged, he found Naruto on the floor with a hurt expression. He had made a new nest for the mother cat and her kittens in a dry cardboard box, lined with a fleece blanket he evidently decided was a worthy sacrifice. He was now sticking his hands in the other box, trying to grab at the cats so he could dry them with a towel. Sasuke heard the mother hiss at him and saw her paw swipe at his hand.

“Hey, c’mon! I’m tryna help, y’know!” he cried.

“That’s not how this works,” Sasuke said.

“Don’t I have to dry them?”

“They’ll get dry on their own. Look, see how she’s licking them?”

“Yeah.”   
“She’s grooming them. She can do this herself. And when she’s ready, she’ll bring them into the new nest herself.” He moved it next to the old one, patting it a few times so she knew it was there. She hissed preemptively at him. “Yeah, yeah.” He nudged Naruto’s shoulder. “Leave them be for a while. The more we ignore them at first, the better.”

“I don’t get it,” Naruto whined, trailing after Sasuke as he went into the kitchen and pulled some chicken out of the freezer. “Why are we ignoring them?”   
“Cats are independent creatures. If they need your help, they’re pretty good at letting you know. Right now, getting up in her face like that is making her feel threatened. She’s trying to protect her kittens.”

“So like you.”

Sasuke laughed.

“What?! That’s  _ exactly _ how you are,” he continued. “You’re so independent. If someone tries to help you you freak out, even if you actually  _ do _ need help. You hate people invading your personal space. You get weird and overprotective, too, sometimes. You’re just like a cat!” 

“I suppose you’re right,” he agreed, defrosting it with a little bit of fire jutsu. 

“Are we having chicken tonight?”

“Yes, and so is Mama Cat.”

Naruto snickered, causing Sasuke to glance back at him over his shoulder.

“What’s so funny?”

“Hearing you say the word ‘mama’ is funny.” Sasuke rolled his eyes, focusing on preparing the chicken. “Aw, c’mon, ‘Suke! Don’t be a dick about it. It’s  _ cute _ . I never thought I’d hear a baby word come out of your mouth.”

“It’s just a word, Naruto.”

“But it’s a cutesy  _ baby _ word,” he insisted. “And  _ you _ said it! C’mon, you gotta admit it’s funny! Uchiha Sasuke, second most powerful shinobi in the world, calls his rescue ‘Mama Cat’, y’know?” Sasuke rolled his eyes again, grateful Naruto couldn’t see his smile. He thought about just going along with it, but he couldn’t resist teasing him.

“I’ll show your ass who’s second,” he said.

“Name a time and place, bitch, I’ll whoop your ass!”

“As will I.”

Sasuke glanced back over his shoulder again. Kurama was looking into the living room, licking his chops.

“The cats are off-limits,” he snapped before he could get too many ideas.

“You cannot simply place prey animals in a predator’s cage and expect things to go well.”   
“Foxes don’t usually eat cats.”

“They don’t usually eat deer, either, yet who brought you fresh venison last winter?” Sasuke wrinkled his nose. It’d been such a pain in the ass to skin, cut, and clean all that meat.

“No killing pets. Play nice or stay away from them.” Kurama growled, but settled nonetheless, occupying himself with watching Sasuke handle the meat instead. “And no raw chicken,” he added.

“Brat!”

Naruto returned to the body laughing.


	12. Playmates

Sasuke hadn’t actually owned a cat in a long time, let alone six. There were many things he’d forgotten about. The most glaring, apparently, was the 2am playtime.

He awoke to the sound of bells and rattles, and an empty space beside him. He groaned involuntarily as he sat up and glanced out the window. _It’s been raining for days…_ He drew in a breath and forced himself to stretch out the stiffness in his body, getting up and throwing on a shirt as he wandered into the living room.

He blinked. _Well, this is… normal…_

Kurama was on the floor, on all fours, chittering with Mama Cat in a decidedly non-human tongue. The kittens bounded about, occasionally tossing a ball at one of them. Kurama batted a ball back at the little black one- Naruto had affectionately named him “Ni-suke” because “he’s just like you!”- and continued talking to Mama Cat without missing a beat.  
“Uh…”

Mama Cat barely glanced at Sasuke, but Kurama settled a glare on him that, if he could do so with looks alone, would have set him on fire.  
“Do you mind? We’re having a conversation.”  
“You can talk to the cats?” He rolled his eyes, folding his arms over each other as if they were paws.  
“Yes. Although I admit I’m rusty. _Shkitat_ is helping me re-learn.” Sasuke blinked.   
“What was that one word?”  
“Her name.”  
“I… How do you pronounce that?” He snorted.  
“You can’t, human.”  
“Right… What should I… call her then?”

Kurama chirruped with her for a moment, and made a laughing noise that startled Sasuke and the kittens.  
“She enjoys your current moniker for her.”  
“And the kittens?” He waved a dismissive hand.  
“You can’t pronounce their names, either.” Mama Cat muttered something that made him laugh again. Sasuke scowled.  
“What?”  
“She finds Naruto funny,” he explained, tilting his head toward Ni-suke. “His naming practices are peculiar, but cute. And she agrees with the similarities he sees between you and her son.” Sasuke glanced down at the kitten. He gazed up at him on his back. “Although, she admits you’re much better with the kits than he is.”

Sasuke snorted, sitting on the floor to join them. Mama Cat called to the kits, and Ni-suke responded instantly, clamoring into Sasuke’s lap. He smiled down at him, petting the top of his head with his thumb. He was followed shortly thereafter by his siblings: Tobiko, the orange one, clawed his way up the back of Sasuke’s shirt to perch on his shoulder, fully invading his personal space and reminding him more of Naruto with each passing day. Hanten, the one kitten Sasuke had been allowed to (uncreatively) name, stopped to nudge Kurama’s arm before crawling into Sasuke’s lap, curling against his hip and purring. He rewarded her with scratches behind her ears, making her purr even louder. The grey one ambled over at her own pace, unhurried, and settled on her haunches beside Sasuke with a big yawn. He petted her as well, in her favorite spot under her chin, and admired her diluted grey coat. Kumori. And, lastly, the little white one. He didn’t respond to his mother’s calls, so Kurama reached back and plucked him away from the cat nip toy he was playing with and dropped him in front of Sasuke. He blinked up at him with beautiful mis-matched eyes, one blue and one brown. “A little of both of us,” Naruto had said fondly. “Imperfectly perfect just like us, too.” And so he was named Wabi-Sabi. Sasuke grinned at him, stroking him from head to tail.  
“I think this one’s deaf,” Sasuke said.  
“He only seems to hear me,” Kurama agreed. Sure enough, he responded to the vibration of Kurama’s low voice on the floor, trotting over to bump heads. He sat before his mother next, and she licked his face.  
“Naruto’d be pissed if he knew we were hanging out with the cats so easily.” Kurama huffed, rolling his eyes.  
“It’s his own fault. Brat doesn’t listen to reason.”

Sasuke hummed a fond agreement. He busied the kittens while Kurama and Mama Cat resumed their previous conversation. After playing a while, the kittens started getting tired, and he yawned. Sasuke laid back on the floor, letting the kittens climb on top of him, and listened to the rain pitter-pattering on their roof. Five warm little bodies curled on top of his, five little pulses beat staggered with his. A strong emotion swept through him, one that nearly made him choke. _I love these kittens_ , he thought. I _love Naruto. I love our home. I love… our life. My life…_

He smiled as his eyes slipped shut, just one tear sliding down his cheek. _“It’s okay to cry when you’re happy.”_ He could hear Naruto say it in his twelve-year-old voice still, that phrase he’d uttered at least once a week when he saw a cute dog or a particularly chubby baby. _He was right. It is okay to cry when you’re happy. I’m… happy…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ni-suke- “ni” meaning “two” and -suke, the ending of Sasuke’s name  
> Tobiko- fish roe, the little orange balls on sushi  
> Hanten- “spotted”  
> Kumori- “overcast”  
> Wabi-Sabi- an untranslatable Japanese word that connotes the beauty of something imperfect; the aesthetic concept that gave birth to kintsugi


	13. Getting Older

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no proofreading, no betas, we die like morons in this house

Two weeks. That’s how long the icy November rain had been descending on Kononha, and it was starting to wear on Sasuke’s body and nerves.

He groaned as he settled on the bed face-first. His whole body throbbed.  _ That wasn’t even a bad mission, but I’m sore. Is it just the rain, or am I really getting that old? Maybe I should think about retiring. No, wait, can’t even think about retiring until Naruto does…  _ The body beside him rustled.

“Brat?” Kurama called groggily.

“Mmph,” Sasuke mumbled into the pillow.

“Ugh.”

Sasuke would have rolled his eyes if he wasn’t so tired. He felt their chakra signature shift as Naruto woke up.

“Back?”  _ Guess I’m getting predictable. It’s always my back that hurts…  _

“Mmph-mm.” Naruto pulled the covers off and rolled, straddling Sasuke’s hips.

“I’ll do my best.”

“Mmph.” 

Naruto’s hands were rough, one calloused and one bandaged, but they pressed warm and firm against his back. He tucked his arm around his pillow to muffle the noises he could never fully suppress, a mix of pain and relief as Naruto kneaded his muscles.

“Such thick scar tissue…” he muttered, charging a little chakra to his hands to help break it up. Sasuke didn’t complain even though it hurt, knowing it would feel better soon. “I sometimes feel bad about your scars, y’know.” Sasuke turned his head just enough that he could see Naruto in the blurry part of his peripheral vision.

“Why?”

“‘Cause I know I caused more than a few of them. But I don’t have any from you. Kurama always heals them up.”

“You’ve got the arm,” Sasuke argued. He groaned as Naruto’s knuckles dug into a knot in the dead center of his spine.

“What did you  _ do _ to yourself?” 

“I dunno,” he mumbled into his pillow. 

“See? I told you we’re getting old.”

“Shut it, dobe.”

Naruto laughed a little, and for a moment the only sounds were the pattering rain and the grazing of Naruto’s skin against Sasuke’s.

“You shouldn’t feel bad about not having scars,” Sasuke said. He felt more than saw Naruto nod.

Naruto moved off him once he’d reached Sasuke’s lower back. He cracked his knuckles. 

“Better?” Sasuke nodded as he sat up on his knees, finally able to stretch and roll his shoulders. Both their heads turned at the sound of tiny bells outside the door. It creaked open, revealing three sets of flashing eyes. Naruto smiled widely. “Well hello, children! Coming to bed late, are we?”

Sasuke couldn’t help but smile a little, too, as he laid back down on his stomach. _ It’s cute how he talks to them…  _ Tobiko, Hanten, and Wabi-Sabi wandered in. Hanten wasted no time hopping up onto the bed and wedging herself between their bodies. Naruto chuckled softly, petting her head. Wabi-Sabi sniffed around the floor, probably searching for a misplaced catnip toy. Tobiko stalked around the end of the bed, hunting Naruto’s wiggling toes under the blanket. Sasuke chose not to warn him, smiling as Hanten crawled up and laid between Sasuke’s shoulderblades. 

“Aww, she really likes you, Sa-su-ke,” Naruto sang. Sasuke offered a small grin as she started playing with the end of his hair.

“Of course she does. I named her.”

“Something about a little calico suits you, even though I named the black one after you.”   
“And now he’s obsessed with you.”   
“Doesn’t take after anyone strange.”   
“Are you suggesting I’m  _ obsessed _ with you, usuratonkachi?”

“Enough to marry me, remember?”

“As if I could forget.”

He could feel nothing but love radiating off Naruto as he laid on his side, propped up on one arm.

“You ever think about what it’ll be like to tell our stories to our kids one day?”

Sasuke smiled, but it was bittersweet.

“Sometimes.”

“You still want kids, right?”

“Yeah. Just… after all this.” Naruto knew what that meant, and he felt him nod. He leaned over and presseed a kiss to Sasuke’s shoulder.

“We’ll be grumpy old dads together.” 

“Hn. Yeah, we will.”

A comfortable silence stretched between them.

“I think I’m gonna retire once I get the Hyuuga situation sorted out.” Sasuke turned his head to look at him now, one brow raising in surprise.

“Yeah?” he prompted

“Yeah. I’m…” He paused, petting Hanten. “I’ve done a lot. The Uchiha monument, the new foster care system, Ino’s mental health infrastructure, keeping the peace for the last what is it, ten years almost? That I’ve been Hokage?” He shrugged a little. “I dunno, it’s just… the Hyuuga thing is the last really big thing I need to fix. And once I do, I… feel like it’s time to leave for me, y’know? I dedicated my whole life to serving others in some way or another. I gotta take some time for myself, too. Raise a family, maybe teach a team, y’know?”

“We could become hermits in the mountains,” Sasuke said wistfully. Naruto laughed.

“ _ You _ could become a hermit in the mountains. As much as I love you, I still need people around.”

“You could down to the village in the valley to visit. I wouldn’t stop you.”   
“Just admit it, you like the idea of the two of us going absolutely feral at the top of a mountain for the rest of our lives.” Sasuke smiled. 

“Oh, to be an old man in the mountains, completely unhinged with my husband in a log cabin we built ourselves.”

They laughed together. The rain continued to fall outside, but Sasuke was aching less. The only thing to disturb the peace was Kurama’s roar as Tobiko pounced on their feet.


End file.
